BEYOND THE COMORT ZONERewards await
those willing to
reach
beyond, beneath, below,
deep down, higher and higher,
over and under, out and within,
and over and over again and again.
Lula Morton Drewes, Ph.D.
Wellness Coach
LEARNING TO REACH
BEYOND THE COMFORT ZONE:
A WELLNESS PROGRAM
BEYOND THE COMFORT ZONE:
A WELLNESS PROGRAM
Answers to life’s puzzles and problems are as certain as the gold buried deep within the earth. Yet, just as golden nuggets seldom fall into our laps, finding solutions to life’s perplexing questions and problems requires work - digging, searching, reaching. With the “pain” of effort, however, comes “gain”. Like the miner who, with practice, learns more and more how to spot and mine for treasures, people too can learn to better tap the treasures within themselves and in the outside world which hold the answers to their search for greater personal peace and power.
How do you define happiness? What makes your spirit soar with song?
A lot of people are talking about happiness lately. Happiness has become the modernday proverbial “apple-a-day” - a dose of happiness each day keeps the doctor away. More and more people are telling us that we need it, what it should look like and how to find it. We are told, for example, that regular doses of joy and laughter can increase the chemicals in our brains responsible for pleasure and can reduce stress. Furthermore, we are reminded that we look better, feel better and, yes, act better when we are happy. If you are like many of the people I work with, however, you will realize that this question is not as simple as it appears on the surface.
Take Nate, for example; he was caught off guard by my question. “I don’t know,” he sighed, adding, “I don’t know what really makes me happy.” We had been talking about a topic which flowed more easily, and had become his almost constant companion recently, it seemed – depression. Yet, according to Buckingham (2007), Nate did know; he just didn’t know that he knew, and he didn’t know how to pay attention to the ever present clues. Buckingham noted that all day, every day we do tasks, have experiences and encounter people, things and situations which engender our positive or negative emotions. They make us smile or frown, they drain our energy or energize us, and they move us to laughter or to tears. Within these often simple experiences, are the clues to what makes us happy. Buckingham, like other writers would appeal to Nate to become more aware of his definition of happiness as one component of establishing a satisfying and fulfilled life.
Yet, while Nate may have been stuck on the gloomy side of life, he was smart to pause before attempting to answer the question. As many of the sages through the ages have realized, there are many hidden potholes in the road to happiness.
There are several issues worth considering in attempts to define happiness. One important issue has to do with the distinction between “feeling happy” and “being happy”. Similar to the difference often noted between infatuation and love, the one refers to that which is more momentary, fleeting and more surface, in contrast to that which represents something more substantial, more solid and enduring. While it may be relatively easy to find things which make us “feel happy”, much more is required in time and energy to establish more substantial and enduring “happiness”.
A related issue concerns the fact that often that which we turn to to “feel happy” carries a heavy price. We want the quick fixes and preferably those wrapped in pretty packages.
What we too often find, however, is that the “gold” of the night shows itself to be fool’s gold in the morning, and that the joy of the evening turns into a splitting headache the day after.
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Achieve greater peace and power by defining what real happiness is for you.
WHAT IS YOUR SPIRIT SONG?
Lula Morton Drewes, Ph.D.
_____________________________________________________
Achieve greater peace and power by defining what real happiness is for you.
WHAT IS YOUR SPIRIT SONG?
Lula Morton Drewes, Ph.D.
Happiness is defined only by you.
I will appreciate the material possessions
that I accumulate, but will always know
that they are not the reason for my happiness.
Williams and Thomas (2005)
I will appreciate the material possessions
that I accumulate, but will always know
that they are not the reason for my happiness.
Williams and Thomas (2005)
How do you define happiness? What makes your spirit soar with song?
A lot of people are talking about happiness lately. Happiness has become the modernday proverbial “apple-a-day” - a dose of happiness each day keeps the doctor away. More and more people are telling us that we need it, what it should look like and how to find it. We are told, for example, that regular doses of joy and laughter can increase the chemicals in our brains responsible for pleasure and can reduce stress. Furthermore, we are reminded that we look better, feel better and, yes, act better when we are happy. If you are like many of the people I work with, however, you will realize that this question is not as simple as it appears on the surface.
Take Nate, for example; he was caught off guard by my question. “I don’t know,” he sighed, adding, “I don’t know what really makes me happy.” We had been talking about a topic which flowed more easily, and had become his almost constant companion recently, it seemed – depression. Yet, according to Buckingham (2007), Nate did know; he just didn’t know that he knew, and he didn’t know how to pay attention to the ever present clues. Buckingham noted that all day, every day we do tasks, have experiences and encounter people, things and situations which engender our positive or negative emotions. They make us smile or frown, they drain our energy or energize us, and they move us to laughter or to tears. Within these often simple experiences, are the clues to what makes us happy. Buckingham, like other writers would appeal to Nate to become more aware of his definition of happiness as one component of establishing a satisfying and fulfilled life.
Yet, while Nate may have been stuck on the gloomy side of life, he was smart to pause before attempting to answer the question. As many of the sages through the ages have realized, there are many hidden potholes in the road to happiness.
Happiness is an imaginary condition, formerly often attributed
by the living to the dead, now usually attributed by adults to
children and by children to adults. Thomas Szasz, The Second Sin
by the living to the dead, now usually attributed by adults to
children and by children to adults. Thomas Szasz, The Second Sin
There are several issues worth considering in attempts to define happiness. One important issue has to do with the distinction between “feeling happy” and “being happy”. Similar to the difference often noted between infatuation and love, the one refers to that which is more momentary, fleeting and more surface, in contrast to that which represents something more substantial, more solid and enduring. While it may be relatively easy to find things which make us “feel happy”, much more is required in time and energy to establish more substantial and enduring “happiness”.
A related issue concerns the fact that often that which we turn to to “feel happy” carries a heavy price. We want the quick fixes and preferably those wrapped in pretty packages.
True happiness is of a retired nature, and an enemy to pomp and noise.
Joseph Addison, The Spectator
Joseph Addison, The Spectator
What we too often find, however, is that the “gold” of the night shows itself to be fool’s gold in the morning, and that the joy of the evening turns into a splitting headache the day after.
The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness.
Eric Hoffer, The Passionate State of Mind
Eric Hoffer, The Passionate State of Mind
We are also reminded by the sages that much that brings joy and happiness is easy, simple and free. In fact, many writers point out that we often ignore or miss many of the simple day-to-day joys and gifts which nature and people offer us because we are rushing and preoccupied and have our eyes and our minds focused on the bigger and the better. Nate seemed so focused on perceiving his glass as always half empty that there was hardly any time or energy for exploring the fact that it was also half full.
They remind us too that memories of happy moments can last a life time, and are often even better than the original event, and that happiness is even sweeter when shared or given away, and acknowledged with gratitude.
They remind us too that memories of happy moments can last a life time, and are often even better than the original event, and that happiness is even sweeter when shared or given away, and acknowledged with gratitude.
Human felicity is produced not so much by great pieces of
good fortune that seldom happen, as by little advantages
that occur every day. Benjamin Franklin
good fortune that seldom happen, as by little advantages
that occur every day. Benjamin Franklin
Finally, author, David Leonhardt, “The Happy Guy” points out in his book “Stairway to Heaven” that happiness is created not found. Happiness, he writes, requires choice and effort to create and work to develop habits to sustain it.
So, how do you define happiness? What situations push that “I feel good” button for you? What made you laugh so hard you almost cried? When was your heart just filled to overflowing by some action, some situation, or some person? When did you jump for joy, or what joys make you want to jump again and again? What makes your spirit soar with song? Are you getting your daily dosage of those “little advantages”, or has it been a while since you’ve noticed what is simple and free? Are you allowing yourself to be satisfied by the easily available fool’s gold, or are you working to create something more substantial? Are you allowing those precious memories to nourish you, and have you given away any happiness lately?
So, how do you define happiness? What situations push that “I feel good” button for you? What made you laugh so hard you almost cried? When was your heart just filled to overflowing by some action, some situation, or some person? When did you jump for joy, or what joys make you want to jump again and again? What makes your spirit soar with song? Are you getting your daily dosage of those “little advantages”, or has it been a while since you’ve noticed what is simple and free? Are you allowing yourself to be satisfied by the easily available fool’s gold, or are you working to create something more substantial? Are you allowing those precious memories to nourish you, and have you given away any happiness lately?
Reach for Words of Wisdom
________
Our Own Spirit Song
So, I bid thee
be open to see
the gifts of life which are
simple and free.
Yet, beware of those gifts
which come with such ease,
and sparkle and dazzle and easily please.
True happiness comes with effort,
with work and with spine
which allows us to stand sturdy
as we create the divine,
which is often
without shine.
Yet, a shine beyond measure
often comes and stays long
when we share with another
our own spirit song.
Lula Morton Drewes, Ph.D.
Soul Food is:
Our Own Spirit Song
So, I bid thee
be open to see
the gifts of life which are
simple and free.
Yet, beware of those gifts
which come with such ease,
and sparkle and dazzle and easily please.
True happiness comes with effort,
with work and with spine
which allows us to stand sturdy
as we create the divine,
which is often
without shine.
Yet, a shine beyond measure
often comes and stays long
when we share with another
our own spirit song.
Lula Morton Drewes, Ph.D.
Soul Food
Just,
as you nourish your body,
as you nourish your mind,
so too,
nourish your soul.
Our bodies hunger for food
lest they grow weak and weary.
Our minds hunger for knowledge, insight and understanding
lest they grow dull and stagnant.
So too, do our spirits need nourishment
lest the flame which fuels, guides and warms us,
grow dim.
Much Soul Food is abundant, free, easily available and natural.
as you nourish your body,
as you nourish your mind,
so too,
nourish your soul.
Our bodies hunger for food
lest they grow weak and weary.
Our minds hunger for knowledge, insight and understanding
lest they grow dull and stagnant.
So too, do our spirits need nourishment
lest the flame which fuels, guides and warms us,
grow dim.
Much Soul Food is abundant, free, easily available and natural.
Soul Food is:
- the bubbling spring with soothing sounds of water flowing
- soothing words which bring water to our eyes
- water which washes our wounds
- the healing light of the sun
- the freshness and abundance of lush greens
- the boundless beauty of flowers whose colors dazzle and delight
- vibrations of music whose tender tones and pounding vibrations shake and sooth us
- a baby’s smile and smell which takes us instantaneously to heavenly places
- a mother’s soft touch
- a fathers strong embrace
- a friend’s helpful hand in times of need
- a peaceful moment in the middle of a hectic day
- fluffy clouds which cushion our imagined fallings
- a sister’s lap which catches the real ones
- a brother’s joke which jolts us into laughter
- a painting which serves a feast for the eyes
- the story which is a feast to the ears
- the dancing of hands on dainty doilies and the squishing and squeezing of clay into pots
- the silence which wraps us gently as if in blankets of down
- the light which appears on the darkest of days, unexpectedly and mysteriously
- the tapping of toes, walks through the woods, dancing as if on air and leaping with faith.
Add to the list, find your favorites and nibble on them regularly. An occasional feast can do wonders.
Reach beyond your comfort zone. Reach beyond what comes easy and automatic to
clarify how you define true happiness. What would a gentle, nonjudgmental look at
your definition of happiness show? What can you learn from the choices and actions you
are making and taking to find, create and to share happiness? What challenges face
you?
A Reach Challenge
______
______
Reach beyond your comfort zone. Reach beyond what comes easy and automatic to
clarify how you define true happiness. What would a gentle, nonjudgmental look at
your definition of happiness show? What can you learn from the choices and actions you
are making and taking to find, create and to share happiness? What challenges face
you?
Reach to Believe:
_______
Something wonderful is about to happen!!!!!!
Belleruth Naprastek
Audiotape: Rheumatoid Arthritis or Lupus
Time Warner Audiobooks
_______
Something wonderful is about to happen!!!!!!
Belleruth Naprastek
Audiotape: Rheumatoid Arthritis or Lupus
Time Warner Audiobooks
Wishing you peace and power, and the courage to reach!!!
Lula Morton Drewes, Ph.D.
Buckingham, Marcus. Oprah Magazine, pp. 315, 362, 366-367, Sept., 2007.
Leonhardt, David. Stairway to Heaven. Published by David Leonhardt: 2003. Canada.
Lula Morton Drewes, Ph.D.
Buckingham, Marcus. Oprah Magazine, pp. 315, 362, 366-367, Sept., 2007.
Leonhardt, David. Stairway to Heaven. Published by David Leonhardt: 2003. Canada.
Copyright © 2008 Lula Morton Drewes, Ph.D. All rights in all media reserved.
Please do not copy without permission of the author.
Please do not copy without permission of the author.
