BEYOND THE COMFORT ZONE
Rewards await
those willing to
reach
beyond, beneath, below,
deep down, higher and higher,
over and under, out and within, and
over and over again and again.
Lula Morton Drewes, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
and Wellness Coach
LEARNING TO REACH
BEYOND THE COMFORT ZONE:
A WELLNESS PROGRAM
Answers to life’s puzzles and problems are as certain as the gold buried deep within the earth. Yet, just as golden nuggets seldom fall into our laps, finding solutions to life’s perplexing questions and problems requires work - digging, searching, reaching. With the “pain” of effort, however, comes “gain”. Like the miner who, with practice, learns more and more how to spot and mine for treasures, people too can learn to better tap the treasures within themselves and in the outside world which hold the answers to their search for greater personal peace and power.
CHECKING IN WITH YOU
by Lula Morton Drewes, Ph.D.
Achieve greater peace and power by learning to reach for regular checks of all life systems.
Congratulations! You “kindled the fire within” and established time for you…alone…to focus on you… So, how’s it going?
No? You didn’t get around to that yet. Well, no matter, there is still time to take better care of the most important person in your life. What? You haven’t figured out who this person is? Ok, I’ll give you a hint – just look in the mirror. I’ll also give you some well-seasoned advice. Look in the mirror, smile broadly at that person you see, and promise him/her that you will schedule in time…alone…to focus on you…ON A REGULAR BASIS.
In the meantime, just take a few minutes with me now to check in with you. Close a real or imagined door. Find a comfortable place to sit. Lean back, take a few deep breaths, relax and just leave the talking to me.
“How’s it going?” is a frequent greeting in Kentucky where I come from. It is a question typically answered quickly and superficially; no one really wants to know the real scoop and the person addressed doesn’t really want to reveal it. “Pretty good, what about yourself?” comes a quick response, often in passing for it is about moving on, keeping going, making it through – whatever the task – keeping that nose to the grindstone – taking care of business… And we keep going, we keep taking care of business, and we “shop until we drop”. It is often only when we “drop” that we might consider asking a serious, “How is it really going with me?” By the time we get around to asking the question, the damage is often done – we find ourselves emotionally bankrupt, an important relationship is on the rocks, the children are spinning out of control, etc. Yet, is there not a way to stay in touch with the status of the various areas of our lives, and to identify needed adjustments before they become needed repairs?
Such monitoring is called preventive maintenance. It is recommended for our homes, our appliances, our vehicles, and our bodies. With automobiles, for example, there are the minor and major check-ups. Frequent checks are recommended for the fluids, the belts, and brakes, and the less frequent checks for the major systems to be made only after a certain amount of time or mileage. Why not then minor and major check-ups of our lives? Why not regular reviews of our life systems, whether minor or major, in order to stay aware of our overall functioning.
For quick and easy checks of our general functioning, The psychologist and story-teller, Dr. Pinkola-Estes (1995), recommends simply asking on a regular basis, “What do I need more of?” and “What do I need less of?” For more detailed assessments, Life Coach Cheryl Richardson (1999) uses a “whole life” approach which involves using a pie chart to diagram the time devoted to different life areas, including work, relationships, emotional and physical health, fun and adventure, contributions to others and spiritual well-being. Balance, according to Richardson, is the key. She writes, “Life is made up of many facets, and no one facet is more or less important than another. A meaningful life is one of balance.” The goal is to stay aware of functioning in the various life areas and of possible imbalance between the areas.
Want a quick and easy check of your life systems? Click here to sign up for “Checking All Systems”, a free form which can be used for regular check-ups:
A Reach Challenge
Reach beyond your comfort zone. Reach beyond what comes easy and automatic to make the time to check in with you. What would a gentle, nonjudgmental look at your various life systems show? What can you learn about yourself? What challenges face you?
So again, how’s it going? How much balance or imbalance would a review of your life systems show? How happy are you? How satisfied are you with your life? What do you need more of and less of in order to feel better and to live better? Where are you, and where are you headed compared to where you want to be, need to be? Are the people and situations in your life good/right for you? What do your family and friends think about what you are doing, and/or, not doing? Or, as Dr. Phil, America’s TV psychologist, often asks quite simply, yet powerfully: “How is this (or that) working for you?”
Time taken to ask such important questions establishes a more solid basis for understanding ourselves and the challenges which face us; and, according to Breathnach (1995) who writes about work-life balance in her book “Simple Abundance”, opens the door to renewing our lives with passion and purpose.
Reach For Words Of Wisdom
The Challenge, Most Urgent
Whether a minor check-up,
or a major review,
the challenge, most urgent
is to take time for you.
It requires regular scheduling,
sometimes more, sometimes less
to relax, to refuel,
to reflect and assess.
Stop, look and listen!
Stop!
Stop the hectic, stop the chatter.
Walk out the door,
get off the ladder.
Do whatever it takes,
but put others on notice;
it is again time,
and this time
is mine!
Look!
my dear,
with calm and with care
at someone unique,
you can’t wait to meet.
He’s/she’s there inside,
Where he/ she often goes to hide,
with wisdom so true,
just waiting for you.
Listen!
to his/her voice so sweet.
it soothes your senses,
and tickles your feet.
Its wisdom is deep.
But, you seldom hear it
for other voices loom loud,
and you’re often too busy
pleasing the crowd.
Listen,
Listen,
to his/her weak and weary words.
You’ll be glad you took the time,
for he/ she has a powerful message
which finally must be heard.
Listen!
Lula Morton Drewes, Ph.D. (2007)
Reach To Believe:
Something wonderful is about to happen!!!!!!
Belleruth Naprastek
Audiotape: Rheumatoid Arthritis or Lupus
Time Warner Audiobooks
Wishing you peace and power, and the courage to reach!!!
Lula Morton Drewes, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist and Wellness Coach
Breathnach, Sarah. Simple Abundance. N.Y.: Warner Books, 1995.
Pinkola-Estes, Clarissa. Women who Run with the Wolves. N.Y.: Ballantine Books, 1995.
Richardson, Cheryl. Take Time for Your Life. N.Y.: Broadway Books, 1999.
Copyright © 2007 Lula Morton Drewes, Ph.D. All rights in all media reserved.
